Tag: sabbath

Big Birthday Memory #12: Oh Those Candles! In Honor of Shabbat (Posted Before)

NOTE: As I approach my 70th birthday, I’ll reprise a milestone post here each day until the end of May. Today – from March 16, 2007.

shabbat candles sized

One of the great gifts of an observant Jewish life is the lighting of Sabbath candles.  At a prescribed time each Friday, 18 minutes before sundown, it is the obligation of the Jewish woman to light candles as a symbolic acceptance of the Sabbath upon herself.  The prayer is said AFTER you light the candles because once they’re lit, the Sabbath rules – ignite no fire, do no work etc. preclude the lighting of a match.

Here’s how it works: you light the candles, move your hands above the candles three times to bring their warmth toward you, then cover your eyes and say a simple blessing.  It’s in Hebrew, but it means “Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who sanctifies us with his commandments, and enjoins us to light the candles of Shabbat.”  Yes,the words of the prayer are plain; women say them in every corner of the earth – educated or not, every week and have been doing so for thousands of years.  Many of us add prayers of our own, for those we love, for peace, for the lifting of burdens, for a better world.

I always take a very deep breath — the kind they taught us when I was quitting smoking — and exhale very slowly, releasing a lot of the stress of the week before I begin.  One of my friends told me that when she was in medical school and having babies at the same time, she’d weep, every week, as she felt the burdens fall from her in the glow of the flame.

Makes sense to me.  Something about this ritual is transporting.  I also love the idea that this is a woman’s privilege.  Much has been written about what observant Jewish women are NOT permitted to do – and much of it is true.  That’s another conversation.  But the impact of this particular duty is profound, beautiful and serene and I am grateful for it.  So, as we move toward the close of this day and toward what I have found to be the true peace of the sabbath – I send to you, whatever your faith – a peaceful wish — Shabbat Shalom.

Big Birthday Memory #4: Patti Smith, CBGB and an Observant Life

image

NOTE: As I approach my 70th birthday, I’ll reprise a milestone post here each day until the end of May. Today – from October 16, 2006

I’ve never been to CBGB OMFUG.  Why do I care about a punk music club whose entrance was always spattered with graffiti and most of whose musical appearances were by people I knew almost nothing about — except Bruce Springsteen [he wrote this with Patti Smith] , Patti Smith [two favorites: People Have the Power, Peaceable Kingdom], Joan Jett [I Love Rock and Roll] and a few others? (I don’t t know the lore all that well – but it always seemed to me that women really got a crack at center stage at CBGB.)  I think it was just nice to see it there – waving its fist in the air.  It has closed – maybe to reopen, maybe not – and I’m just kind of sad to see it losing its lease to what some have called “the suburbification of Manhattan.”

Patti Smith, whom I had the honor to meet at last year’s Media Reform conference in St. Louis, was a real CBGB heroine and I felt, meeting her, a deep connection.  We’re the same age.  She’s a heartbreakingly honest person who lost her husband way too soon (and wrote People Have the Power partly at his instigation) — a mom and a singular human soul.  The music she made was remarkably articulate (she is a poet after all) and inspiring.  I’ve linked above to two of my favorites — one of which, People Have the Power, was an anthem of the Vote for Change election tour in 2004.

So what do the final days of a gritty music club where I never went have to do with my life as an observant Jew?  Believe it or not – plenty.  Both of them were fascinating universes I always observed from the outside and wondered about.  Both stood for making one’s own way to truth.  That search has taken me, for some reason I’m still grappling with, to the Orthodox Jewish community  where I’ve found a home and spirit that brings a new kind of meaning to my life.

At my last big birthday I complained to a friend about my age and her response was “but you’re completely reborn in this new life – you’re not old AT ALL!”  In some ways she’s right.  I certainly feel that there’s a universe I’m traveling through that’s new, moving, inspiring and mysterious.  Sometimes though it’s also a pain.  For the past several weeks, from Rosh Hashanah (the New Year) to the end of Simchas Torah (Ending the annual, week-by-week reading of the Torah: the five books of Moses – Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy and beginning again) the holidays consumed days of time: in synagogue, inviting guests to meals and going to meals at friends, building and dismantling a sukkah and observing the prohibition on driving and work.  Since this year many of these days fell on weekends it meant NO catching up on work on Sundays and no farmer’s market. (two weird examples, I admit.) Since it’s the end of tomato season that last was sad though not critical to the future of the human race or my household.

Even so, all these small requirements, which I try to follow since I’ve made this commitment, can consume time and tax serenity and spirituality.  I’ve come to love the prohibition on the Sabbath and enjoy the quiet days reading, taking walks, visiting, napping and sharing ideas.  But the surrender to and acceptance of all these rules is a peculiar experience and I grapple with it daily.  Even so, the quest, like that of the young rebels who put CBGB on the map, is a great adventure – and the learning is exhilarating.

Go listen to People Have the Power whether this post makes sense or not.  It will make you happy on a Monday – although that’s easier here today since it’s the third amazingly gorgeous fall day in a row – with leaves turning and leaf smells beginning to fill the air.  Which, I just realized, takes us right back to faith and gratitude for the world’s beauty when it shows up.

Today is Shabbat

shabbat shalom computer sixed
Shabbat Computer

The Torah says I can’t use my computer on Shabbat, and since I’ve committed to post every day during November, I kind of have to cheat and set this to post on Saturday even though it’s almost Friday night “lights off.”  (Observing Shabbat means not using electric devices unless they’re on timers, not lighting a fire and a ton of other things.)

So instead, I simply wish you a little of the peace to be found in quiet contemplation or just plain family time playing Monopoly.  Whatever your way of honoring the weekend, enjoy it.  I’ll see you tomorrow.

Shabbat Shalom – A Post from Long Ago

Shabbat Shalom
Shabbat Shalom

As Shabbat descends, I offer from 2007, notes on how it feels to light Shabbat candles each Friday night.

One of the great gifts of an observant Jewish life is the lighting of Sabbath candles. At a prescribed time each Friday, 18 minutes before sundown, it is the obligation of the Jewish woman to light candles as a symbolic acceptance of the Sabbath upon herself. The prayer is said AFTER you light the candles because once they’re lit, the Sabbath rules – ignite no fire, do no work etc. preclude the lighting of a match.

Here’s how it works: you light the candles, move your hands above the candles three times to bring their warmth toward you, then cover your eyes and say a simple blessing. It’s in Hebrew, but it means .”Blessed are You, Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who sanctifies us with his commandments, and enjoins us to light the candles of Shabbat.” Yes,the words of the prayer are plain; women say them in every corner of the earth – educated or not, every week and have been doing so for thousands of years. Many of us add prayers of our own, for those we love, for peace, for the lifting of burdens, for a better world.

I always take a very deep breath — the kind they taught us when I was quitting smoking — and exhale very slowly, releasing a lot of the stress of the week before I begin. One of my friends told me that when she was in medical school and having babies at the same time, she’d weep, every week, as she felt the burdens fall from her in the glow of the flame.

Makes sense to me. Something about this ritual is transporting. I also love the idea that this is a woman’s privilege. Much has been written about what observant Jewish women are NOT permitted to do – and much of it is true. That’s another conversation. But the impact of this particular duty is profound, beautiful and serene and I am grateful for it. So, as we move toward the close of this day and toward what I have found to be the true peace of the sabbath – I send to you, whatever your faith – a peaceful wish — Shabbat Shalom.

Another Landmark in Jewish Life, Another Lesson Learned

Getting Siddur2
When I first got involved in observant Judaism, I was appalled at a lot of what I saw.  Without any background or knowledge I was ready to condemn rules from keeping kosher to circumcision to the bedecken in a marriage ceremony to Jewish education.

I’ve changed my mind about many things (though not all) but more important than any single issue is the larger lesson of this lengthy and complicated transition: you can’t judge anything until you really understand it.  It’s so easy to laugh off a traditional life, modest clothing, 613 commandments (and I still struggle with many of them and remain, I know, ignorant of many others.)  But as each rule and ritual is placed into context, its importance emerges, if you let it.  Not for everything, certainly, but for more of this somewhat exotic existence than I ever expected.

Last night I went with friends to celebrate their son’s receipt of his first siddur – prayerbook.  It is a remarkable event.  In advance, parents come to school and decorate the books’ cover; the kids wear crowns with prayers on top, there’s a long performance full of the child’s version of many of the traditions and they dance and sing and tell us what they will contribute to the future.  Parents and siblings and sleeping infants and grandparents are gathered to watch, in a balloon-decorated room with cupcakes and apple juice waiting in the back.

Of course, all this is a kind of indoctrination.  But what I’ve realized is that I think any child rearing of merit imparts values as this ceremony does.  In this case, the gift of prayer is celebrated, and being old enough to become, at least a bit, master of one’s own prayers is pretty cosmic.  Most Orthodox ceremonies I’ve been part of celebrate this gift and the journey of our emerging relationships with God, each in our own way.

But as I remember taking my kids to marches, and boycotting Nestle, and raising them on Pete Seeger and the Weavers and politics all the time, well – that was a form of indoctrination too.  And we were determined that they would receive the values that we thought most important, and be raised with a keen sense of right and wrong in political as well as personal terms.  Now, of course, they’ve modified all that to suit themselves, as they should.  But they had a set of values to push up against, as their father used to say.  Instead of prayers, the signs in their school said “Each one, teach one” and every kid had a task to contribute to the community.  Not so different, just not Godly.

I know that we are a secular nation, and that many American Jews live highly secular lives.  I did too.  But somehow, we found our way here.  Tonight I’ll light Sabbath Candles and feel the quiet peace that comes with them.  And I’ll be grateful not only for that but for the grace and love of the parents who invited me to share in their son’s celebration, and who have so often provoked me to think harder and struggle more to understand this life I’ve chosen.  And have taught both of us so much.  Believe me, I’m at least as surprised as you are by my reactions, but as long as that continues, I know I’m keeping faith with the name of this blog, along with the larger faith I seek.

Shabbat Shalom.




RADIO SILENCE

Shabbat_computer
I hate being off the grid for even a moment in these weirdest of times but from sundown Friday until sundown Saturday I’m gone.  If you’re looking for me, I should be caught up and posting by Sunday some time.  Have a lovely weekend. (and thanks to Steven and Linda, whoever they are, whose photo this is.)  Their MYSpace page is private or I would link to them – it’s perfect for a webrat like me who has to stay offline to honor the Sabbath.  Shabbat Shalom indeed.

JUST A LITTLE SHABBAT CLOSER

Fv_view_of_pool_from_room
Shabbat is over.*  We had ten people here for dinner Friday night so both dish washers are running and most of the rest of the stuff put away.  I want to write a "real" post – I really do – but I’m just beat.  Our kids were here last weekend – it was wonderful. I wrote about it on Fifty-Something Moms.  It was an incredibly emotional weekend filled with ritual and love.  Of course it can’t last; there seems to be some prickly stuff going on with friends of ours and I have to figure out why.   But it’s only a  month until BlogHer.
We had a great Shabbat.  Services, Shabbat dinner and it seems that everyone had a wonderful time, more services this morning, lunch at friends’ house and a birthday party in the early evening.  Nice.
A young man we know is getting married next weekend and his parents were at services today; it was so great to get to tell them how wonderful their son is.  And mean it.
OK enough inventory.  I’m gonna crash and write a real post tomorrow. Gnite.
* Oh yeah, and the picture is just pretty, not part of anything else.