JERUSALEM DIARY 2.0 – DAY ONE: LIVING WITH SECURITY -EVERY MINUTE, EVERY DAY

Flowers_and_city_wall_2_9This is the Jerusalem we all love to imagine, and there’s plenty of it that’s just like that.  Usually, that’s where we spend most of our time — biblical Jerusalem.  It’s thrilling.

This time, though, we’re here to study, and for the first time, instead of staying in a hotel, we’re in an apartment in a real neighborhood (Bak’ah for those of you who know it).  We arrived this afternoon after flying from 5 PM Monday DC time through to 2:30 PM Tuesday Jerusalem time.  That’s a total of 14.5 hours with the layover in Frankfurt.  So, exhausted and eager to get to bed, we spent the evening wandering around the neighborhood instead of going immediately to the Old City as we have in the past.

Supermarket_securityWe needed coffee, milk and some other things so we stopped first at the supermarket just blocks from our "house."  But guess what?  Before we could get inside, we were stopped at the door, my bag was searched and we were sort of assessed before entering.  Nicely, matter-of-factly, but for real.  I took this photo of the security guys on the sly, that’s why it’s so blurry.  But there you are.  Need apple juice?  Prepare to have the diaper bag searched.

SaladsRestaurantBags in tow, we went on to dinner at a wonderful grill/salad place.  There are photos of both the salads and the place on the left, but guess what?  Before we could go in we had to check in with the guard at the entrance.  He asked me not to take his picture, but he was there.  Hungry?  Meeting friends for coffee?  Prepare to be checked out not by the cuties at the next table, but by the guard at the door.

Mall_securityWandering around after dinner, we found a sweet coffee place.  Everyone was sitting outside; the traffic was buzzing by beyond the sidewalk, the coffee was great and we were in a great place – living a neighborhood life in another country — one of particular importance to us.  But guess what?  The coffee place is part of a local mall, along with a drugstore and some not-very-expensive (almost cheap) apparel stores.  And guess who were sitting outside the doors, on stools, on the sidewalk?  Yup – security guards.  A quick check of our bags of coffee and bottled water, and of my back pack, and we were good to go.  But there you are.  Going for diapers or hand lotion?  Prepare to be searched at the door.

I’m not writing this to complain.  Today I just felt, in a different way, what it’s like to live here.  Whatever your politics, the idea of a people so under siege that no grocery store or bowling alley or retail mall can exist without security guards checking everyone who enters, is creepy and sad.  I know, I know, a grave portion of our globe is at some kind of risk. And I’d probably react the same way witnessing their struggles.  But this is where I am, this is where I’ve come to study, this is where I look into the eyes of mothers in the baby food aisle and old ladies squeezing tomatoes and crews of students buying up unthinkable quantities of fast food.  And as they move through their lives, relief from their sense of danger, of vulnerability, is possible, sustainable, only until the next time they walk out the front door.  And that’s a hell of a way to live.

STEP-BY-STEP WITH A WORLD-CLASS SONGWRITER

Carol Bayer Sager (you know, the songwriter*) and AlAnon – in the same blog. It turns out she’s been going to meetings for years — and in this post on fearlessness she describes how it has helped her deal with the fears and phobias that emerged from her tough childhood.

As she quotes the slogans and lessons of this amazing organization, I recognize the power of this support program for those with alcoholics or addicts in their lives.  It IS about fearlessness, and about ending the ridiculous urge to control everything — mostly to keep things safe because so much of life with an addict is so chaotic.  If the program were not described as one "of attraction, not promotion" I would write lots more about it but respect for the privacy of others and the effectiveness of the low key love and fellowship the program offers demonstrate the wisdom of this non-evangelizing attitude.

Anyone who knows Jenn Satterwaite’s amazing Mommy Needs Coffee knows the power of addiction and of 12 step programs; I’m sure there are dozens of similar blogs that I don’t know about.  It’s so funny, too, because so often I’ll see people acting the way that I used to (and still do, in moments of "relapse") and think "boy, they should go to a meeting."  Of course, it only works if you choose it on your own – but when it works – boy does it work.

This paragraph is being written later – I actually just came from a meeting.  It always amazes me how much pain is gathered in the room of an AlAnon meeting – and how much help people are to one another just be being there.  I am a bit shy about writing in specifics but I’m all with Carol Bayer S – It’s a real gift.

*Songs by Carol Bayer Sager include: Blueberry Pie", "My One True Friend Don’t Cry Out Loud, Through the Eyes of Love,  Nobody Does It Better That’s What Friends Are For,  It’s My Turn

SCARY DAY – THEY DON’T CALL IT TERRORISM FOR NOTHING

REPOSTED FROM VOX 8/10:
Lately we always wake up early — lots of hassles in our life right now — and so the TV was on from about 5. Once we turned it on and saw what was happening, of course there was no way to turn it off. This is a very scary time. I’ve been in Heathrow a zillion times so it was scarier; it’s always worse when you can envision yourself in the place where the trouble’s happening.

It all was compounded by the fact that our older son had just returned from London. Since he’s on planes all the time I’ve stopped letting myself think about it but this is different – far too tangible for me. I know I’m suggestible and don’t bring nearly enough skepticism to the situation but it is too creepy. Besides, we all know that when we feel no prospect for control things feel worse.

I remember how both kids reacted to 9/11 — living on the opposite coast from us and so far away. One of the sad things about that horror and what followed is that it has caused so much pain to the generations who followed my own. Even the Oliver Stone film promos remind us (paraphrasing) “every generation is impacted by something, THIS was ours.” (THIS being 9/11 of course) It’s all just so hard to accept – not so much for me but for my kids and all the other younger people who started out in the tech revolution with so much promise for their futures then watched as those in power seemed to walk into a wall and have no idea how to recover. We all like to leave our kids in better shape than we were. My (Depression-era/WW II) parents did that for us — I’m pretty sure we haven’t passed it on.

Oh – and about security:

I’m also trying to figure out how I would do without

a] My Big Giant Purse

b] My laptop

c] My wheelie

d] At least 3 books and 4 magazines

e] A bottle of water

And where I would put

a] My car key with the keyless entry button (forbidden)

b] My copy of my husband’s car key with the keyless entry button (also forbidden)

c My iPod

d] My Treo

e] Another book

f] Cheese from the Red Carpet Room

How are the rest of us feeling? Am I just a wuss?