Tag: brothers

Sons and Brothers — and Star Wars

Star_Wars sized

“I was raised to do one thing but I’ve got nothing to fight for.” —  Finn – a Storm Trooper*

My sons are 40 and 36 and they’re going to Star Wars opening night together.  It took some avid site refreshing and one wildly committed wife as deputy but they have tickets.  I love knowing that they like each other enough to share this. The first films hijacked our family – much to our delight.

There was lots of stuff, of course.  We had action figures and Death Star Space Stations, Landspeeders, Tie Fighters,  Millennium Falcons, Light Sabers, Lego versions  and about a billion little weapons all over the floor of their room.  All the time.  It was wonderful watching the two of them and their friends imagining all sorts of adventures as the toys carried them into battles between good and evil.

Once when he was around ten, I asked my older son, what he really wanted to do when he was older.  He replied, with growing agitation, “I want….  I want…. I want to fight The Empire!  

And there it is.  Deep inside the battles and light shows and Yoda-isms is the simple truth that informs most wonderful stories: a battle fought for honor, justice, family, love, or even peace.

Is it any wonder why that nearly 40 years later, the fever has reemerged, the joy and anticipation like new?

It is with gratitude that one watches a child find joy in a story or a song, from Little Bear to Harry Potter.  But Star Wars — well, that’s not just a wonderful tale, it’s the gift of a dream – something to fight for connected to the best parts of each of us, of hope, and courage and love.  I’m grateful that it exists and that my grown kids still love it and I’m really really grateful that the person each wants to revisit that world with is his very own brother.

*A trained warrior desperate to escape his past, Finn is plunged into adventure as his conscience drives him down a heroic, but dangerous, path.”  From the Official Star Wars Databank  

 

A BIT OF BABY SHOWER WISDOM FOR MOTHERS OF TWO

Boys_boat

Well here they are.  My two boys some years ago, on a boat someplace in Germany.  This photo is probably 20 years old; it’s from one of many wonderful trips covering territory all the way from Israel to Hawaii.  Each was an adventure, enriched by the presence of these two little (and later bigger) boys, as were all our days. Most visitors to the baby shower know that I’m the sentimental one – not able ever to be as arch and irreverent as many of my sister bloggers.  SO CONSUMER ALERT — this is mostly a riff on the treat it is to watch your two kids grow, change, interact, fight, become real friends, care for one another and grow up to travel together and meet up to go to concerts.

When I was pregnant with my second son, I was afraid that I could never love another child.  The delight we felt with our first son was so complete that I wasn’t sure whether there was room in my heart for another.  That summer, as we awaited his brother’s arrival, I insisted that our son, my husband and I – go to the beach to have a last vacation with "just the three of us."  It was going to be tough to get used to dividing my time so I wanted one more golden moment with just one.

It was the year The Muppet Movie came out, and I remember sitting on the little deck outside the beach cabin we’d rented, my son in my lap, playing The Rainbow Song on the boom box we’d brought with us, just about overcome with emotion.  Listen to it – if it doesn’t get to you I don’t know what will.

"Some day we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreams and me."  So sentimental but absolutely perfect for my pregnant, hormonal self. 

And then he arrived – this little, amazing, intense infant, and as soon as I saw him I knew all the worry was for nothing.  Of course you can’t love an abstraction as much as a little blond sweetie who loves Kermit and Ernie and Bert — and you.  Once that abstraction arrives though, he’s as real and exciting and mysterious and loving as his big brother.  As each of their personalities emerged so did their differences, but each revealed a piece of them.   Each individual talent and temperment and allergy and grace reminded us of the unique treasure that each of them was to us.  So here are 10.5 thoughts on the question at hand – moving from one child to two:

Continue reading A BIT OF BABY SHOWER WISDOM FOR MOTHERS OF TWO