Don Draper, Dick Whitman, Peggy, Sally, Joan, Coke, Mad Men and Us

Don on pay phone2The farewell to Mad Men, at least on Monday’s morning news programs, was all about “the Coke commercial” (indeed a brilliant, brilliant presence in the episode) the 60’s, advertising, capitalism and a Don Draper not at all like the man he described to Peggy in this phone call:

“I messed everything up. I’m not the man you think I am…. I broke all my vows. I scandalized my child. I took another man’s name. and made nothing of it.”

or his physical transformation – messy hair, plaid shirt and jeans – that returned him, at least briefly, to the “Dick Whitman” he once was.  Even his expressions were those of a country boy with a squint.

Joan faye peggy2
Joan, Peggy and Faye in the elevator in especially poignant episode about the women of Mad Men

Preoccupation  with “the commercial” overrode discussion of how important Mad Men has been to women: not only those who were teenagers as Don ascended and for whom so many scenes brought back memories of the scandalous neighborhood “divorcee,” of the Women’s Clubs and Garden Clubs and all the other “activities” suburban mothers created —  but also for those who came after, for whom some of what they saw of women’s lives was just a relic but way too much was way too familiar.

Don Draper’s journey, from brothel to executive suite to Esalen, is very much that of America through the 60’s and beyond.   It was a traumatic, scary, strange and exhilarating time, and whether you were there or you arrived later, it’s clear that Don’s misery and confusion mirrored what many of us, and, even more so, our parents felt every day.

Oh, and that Coke commercial? It was so perfect I laughed out loud as it appeared: all that we had hoped for and dreamed of, laid out in an air-brushed, multicultural, Benetton panorama.  I don’t think we knew then how far we would be today – maybe forever – from that dream, but watching it now, it seems quaint how sentimental we were, even in our days of rage.  Just like Don.

This Just In: The Longer You Live, the Older You Are!

Banksy seniors
Banksy’s view of older folk

 

They look like big insects with wheels, those people with walkers and canes.  I pass so many of them on the streets.  Every time, it gets scarier.

“That’s OK” I tell myself, “Lots of them are really obese, many are clearly far far older or looking it and some are obviously dealing with life-long disabilities.  They need all those appliances.  I don’t.”  Even so, each time they pass I see, for the first time, not another species but a possible (perhaps inevitable) future.

We all age.  Our grandsons are growing so fast; miss a week and they seem transformed.  Our kids have somehow become men of 35 and almost 40!   Younger people are more willing to reveal their resentment of those of us from the 60’s and 70’s. (“We’re just bitter because the media spent our formative years (well, the teen and college ones) calling us slackers and then our entire generation got known as a waste of space. It’s still mean about us! I think we are the hardest workers who will work until we drop dead.”)

I understand what that means, even though I disagree with much of it.  I don’t mind the idea of aging; so far I’m pretty lucky in how I feel and what I can do and think and be.  Even so, I know it all turns on an illness, or a fall, or a loss of strength or hearing or sight.  I continue to see myself apart from those old people, but somewhere inside I know the truth.  I can’t hide from it forever.

We all get old.  We all change, sometimes decline and sometimes gain wisdom.  Boomer or Millennial, Gen X or Y – all of us move along the continuum no matter how much we fight it.   And no matter how long I sit here trying to finish this, I can’t find a way to make it any better.

 

 

 

 

 

All Hail Rock and Roll

Hall of Fame 1988

I don't spend my time talking about the "olden days" – really I don't.  Working on the web has kept me very much in the present.  But tonight I watched a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony retrospective and since you have to have given music at least 25 performing years to be inducted most of the performers were closer to my age than to that of my buddies here on the Web.  And wow. 

I feel the way you feel 2/3 of the way down a fantastic black diamond slope with the wind in your hair and frost on your ear lobes and your heart pounding.  Where else is there the power that music brings to us?  We go where it takes us — return to places we'd forgotten we knew, find pride in the memories we cherish and an abashed amusement in those that might have been a bit – um — less luminous.  Our moods, our clothes, the way we're driving, or eating, or doing less discussable things, changes with the music around us.  It's bits of soul reflected.

I was blessed to be at a couple of the most amazing inductions; I've written about that before but some of those moments appeared tonight and I could feel again the hair raising thrill of watching Ben E King and The Beach Boys and Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan and Billy Joel and Mick Jagger and dozens (literally dozens) of others performing together.   Coming as we all do from a generation that did so many things as a tribe, it's particularly moving to watch them trade glances and cues — such a familiar pattern.

I love my life now and am so grateful to be a part of the explosion of the new connected world, but I am also grateful for the years those musicians gave us.  They are brothers and sisters and inspirations and former fantasies and just plain fun.  I know how many died of overdoses, I know there are seamy stories and I know that there are wonderful musicians who have followed them and will themselves end up on that stage when enough years have passed but my time was a wonderful time to be young and loving music.  And once again tonight I remembered how many moments of my own personal Hall of Fame were accompanied by, or part of, or generated from – the music they gave us all.

Anti-Aging Clinics, Short Sleeves and Chocolate – Hit Blogging Boomers Carnival #139 and See Why

Carnival

You may (or may not) have noticed my absence lately; I’ve been too slammed to sit down and write respectably.  Even so I could not, in good conscience, skip my turn to offer the wisdom of so many of my favorite baby boom bloggers — all part of the Blogging Boomers Blog Carnival.  They range from Environmental activism to an old old joke.  So here they are, in all their glory:

Barbara Weibel at Hole in the Donut produced a video to show us the good work being done by the Peace River Wildlife Center in Punta Gorda Florida, where they educate humans as well as rescuing animals.

There are a several posts dealing with aging this week, too.

The FDA is concerned about the growing use of testosterone by anti-aging clinics seeking to restore youthfulness to Baby Boomers and by the abuse of such drugs in sports.  SoBabyBoomer.com tells us thatit’s no surprise the FDA is being so vigilant.

Beware! At Writing Without Periods l, Jenny warns of the tricky seduction of mini-chocolate bars in “My Name is Jenny And I’m a Chocoholic.

There’s something about aging that makes us feel more vulnerable.  Laura Lee has a great guest post this week about those kinds of feelings.

Then LifeTwo discusses recent study that has found that a woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is the patient. In short women stand behind their man but the opposite isn’t true.

And what about those in business?  For many small businesses, cash flow is a constant issue. Andrea J. Stenberg at The Baby Boomer Entrepreneur might have the answer for you when she asks Do customers owe you money?

Meanwhile, over at Contemporary Retirement, Ann has a 10-step guide to finding your passion:

And when you need some fashion therapy, the three-quarter length sleeve jacket is a gorgeous addition to any wardrobe, but there’s a lot of confusion about what to wear with it. The Glam gals have the answer at Fabulous after 40. 

Blogging Boomers Carnival #122: Health, Travel, Books and Marriage

Midlife crisis queen logo in header2 (2)I'm a day late because I'm in London and time is mysterious still, but this week's Blogging Boomers, at Midlife Crisis Queen, is worth waiting for. From what to pack to how to stay healthy, it's got its usual menagerie of interesting stuff. Take a look and you'll see what I mean.

Blogging Boomers Carnival #116: From 401(K)s to Folk Art

Carnival Welcome to the 116th Carnival of Boomer Blogs.  This crew has been a joy and a great resource for as long as I've been privileged to be part of it, and this week is no exception.  Given the economy and all, let's start with John Agno of So Baby Boomer.  John, always wise, warns us this week that early withdrawals from Individual Retirement Accounts and 401 (K) plans are a "No, No!" because they trigger taxes and penalties that can really add up.  Good advice, no?

While we're on serious "boomer interest" topics, we'll move to Wesley Hein at LifeTwo.  This week he's writing about HBO's multi-part documentary on Alzheimer's Disease.  The underlying message is that Alzheimer's can no longer be ignored.  I've actually seem some excerpts and would concur.

That health issue is part of what makes Janet Wendy at Gen Plus "mad as hell" and she's not going to take it anymore…maybe.

On another side of the economy, let's talk business.  Andrea Sternberg at The Baby Boomer Entrepreneur asks: "With Twitter you can have conversations with a large number of people, but do these twitter conversations convert to actual sales?  That question haunts many small business Twitter users and is the main thing", Andrea says, "holding others back from giving Twitter a try."  You'll find her answer to this dilemma in her post Make Money with Twitter – Is It Possible?

Also on the business end of things: do you ever feel like a loser?  The Midlife Crisis Queen did often after she lost her job.  This is how she dealt with it.

One of our founders and leaders, Rhea Becker, reports from Boston on The Gemini Web "I can't read my favorite magazines any longer without eyeglasses.  I think they're using smaller type.  Or maybe it's just me."

 On a cheerier note, the Glam Gals (style experts for women over 40) ask, "Have you heard the true story of the woman who overcame having diabetes, while losing 100 pounds and then entered the Mrs. Idaho pageant?"  This is a must-read and inspiration story, they  tell us.  Find out more from FabulousAfter40.com.

Oh – and do you remember watching Art Linkletter?  Dina at This Marriage Thing, who loved the show Kids Say the Darndest Things shares some newly discovered gems about marriage "out of the mouths of babes."

Feeling artsy?  During her recent travels in the Florida Keys (who wouldn't love that?) Barbara Weibel at Hole in the Donut discovered Stanley Papio, whom some consider an important folk artist, while others insist he was nothing more than a welder with a yard full of junk.  Stop by and contribute to the conversation!

In the same vein, Ann at Contemporary Retirement has a video clip of some amazing sand art, crated by Ilana Yahav using just her fingers, some sand and a glass table.

One more travel contribution from Nancy Mahegan at Vaboomer. Ever want to sell everything and retire on a beach in Mexico?  Read about real people who did at Vaboomer.com,

Finally, my own contribution is a tribute to an old friend, long-time New York Times Book Review Children's Book Editor Eden Ross Lipson.  If you have children you've probably made use of her classic NY Times Guide to the Best Books for Children.  She was something special.

Blogging Boomers Carnival #106 and Still Full of Great New Ideas

LifeTwo
Can a week have gone by already?  Must have – Blogging Boomers carnival is back on this snowy Monday, hanging out this week at Wesley Hein's LifeTwo.  True Love to 401Ks, innovation to blue jean fashion, Boomer women and Twitter – it's a wide swath of life covered this week.  But then, that's always true at the Blogging Boomers, so don't miss it.