You know all those amused, indulgent stories about teenagers texting and cell phoning at all hours? And how great they are at multi-tasking? Well if you believe this piece, running on AlterNet after appearing in the Christian Science Monitor, (and there is no reason not to) there is, as usual, a very very very dark side to this "cute" phenomenon.
Liz Claiborne Inc. teamed up with the National Domestic Violence Hotline and conducted a survey of teen cellphone use. The survey, conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, reported that "20 to 30 percent of teens who had been in relationships said their partner had constantly checked in on them, had harassed or insulted them, or had made unwanted requests for sexual activity, all via cellphones or text messages. One out of 4 reported hourly contact with a dating partner between midnight and 5 a.m. — in some cases, 30 times per hour. And 1 out of 10 had received physical threats electronically."
Even if half of that is true, it’s scary and sad. You can just imagine a 14 year old girl, inexperienced in relationships, trying to handle this kind of overbearing behavior. What I wonder though is WHY? In an adult relationship we would call this emotional abuse and, often, a prelude to physical abuse. AND I remember when I worked for a youth TV news program, doing several pieces on boyfriends abusing their teen girlfriends. But this is so much easier to hide — and is so scarily omnipresent and unpredictable at the same time, that it just shakes you to your core.
There are days when I wonder what it’s going to take to get this man-woman thing right when even the boy-girl part is so often destructive. And wonder, too, how we help these girls (and I suppose there are boys too) have the confidence to put a stop to it when it happens. Heavy thoughts for a snowy Tuesday.
Yow! Scary, although in a weird way I’m glad that it at least drives the point home that all these new media issues are not (mostly) as newly threatening as we somethings think.
The scary person is still someone we know more than a stranger, and abusive people will use all the tools available to them.
One thing I find interesting — I wasn’t allowed to be on the phone after 10 pm. Note to self: as Noah gets older, he needs a similar rule.